<- okay, that's better.So yes, 'The Double" where our hero Mr. Yokav Gloydakin is just a big bag of insecurities wrought on by his over self awareness about his own faults and the falsity of high society. This leads to some very intriguing and humorous asides from our hero. For instance, there's a part in the story where Mr. Gloydakin is riding around town and not at work, when he sees one of his superiors. Upon seeing the superior he begins to think:
“Bow or not? Call back or not? Recognize him or not?" our hero wondered in indescribable anguish, "or pretend that I am not myself, but somebody else strikingly like me, and look as though nothing were the matter. Simply not I, not I—and that's all," said Mr. Golyadkin, taking off his hat to Andrey Filippovitch and keeping his eyes fixed upon him. "I'm . . . I'm all right," he whispered with an effort; "I'm . . . quite all right. It's not I, it's not I—and that is the fact of the matter.”
The most interesting thing about the insecurity of Mr. Gloydakin is the paradox presented in his decision, he chooses not to be himself, but by acknowledging the superior he wouldn't of been himself anyway, it'd be the mask talking.
Yet this is all besides the point, what is of interest is Mr. Gloydakin's aside when standing beside the wood pile for a rich family whose daughter he is in love with - by the way he is crashing the party going on in the house.
The cabby left, muttering under his nose. "What's he muttering about?" Mr. Goliadkin thought through his tears. "I hired him for the evening, I'm sort of...within my rights nows...so there! I hired him for the evening, and that's the end of the matter. Even if he just stands there, it's all the same. It's as I will. I'm free to go, and free not to go. And that I'm now standing behind the woodpile--that, too, is quite all right...and don't you dare say anything; I say, the gentleman wants to stand behind the woodpile, so he stands behind the woodpile...and it's no taint to anybody's honor--so there! So there, lady mine, if you'd like to know. Thus and so, I say, but in our age, lady mine, nobody lives in a hut. So there! In our industrial age, lady mine, you can't get anywhere without good behavior, of which you yourself serve as a pernicious example...You say one must serve as a chief clerk and live in a hut on the seashore. First of all, lady mine, there are no chief clerks on the seashore, and second, you and I can't possible get to be a chief clerk. For, to take an example, suppose I apply, I show up--thus and so, as a chief clerk, say, sort of...and protect me from my enemy...and they'll tell you, my lady, say, sort of...there are lots of chief clerks, and here you're not at some émigrée Falbala's, where you learned good behavior, of which you yourself serve as a pernicious example. Good behavior, my lady, means sitting at home, respecting your father, and not thinking of any little suitors before it's time. Little suitors, my lady, will be found in due time! So there! Of course, one must indisputably have certain talents, to wit: playing the piano on occasion, speaking French, some history, geography, catechism, and arithmetic--so there!--but not more. Also cooking; cooking should unfailingly be part of every well-behaved girl's knowledge!”
If you don't want to read that whole mess, in short its him assuring himself of his actions and then assuring himself of what a good woman is like. Insecurity to the max right there.
We see a lot of this in Elliot's poem, first of all in summary, the poem seems to be about a man ruminating over a decision to approach a woman and in his mind he sings out to her. Its important to note the extensive focus on time, especially in the 3rd stanza and his trying to justify his hesitation b y saying he's old, and lastly his lament that no longer is that woman's siren song for him, and so he drowns in his torment.
Yes, insecurity and love are wonderful things.
I agree that in Elliot's poem there seems to be a lot of "ruminating" over a decision. I'm not sure if I see it so much as insecurity instead of the narrator being disillusioned with love and woman. When I read this poem I think of a man who is very cynical about love, especially when he says the stanza about the arms, it kind of just seems like he is saying ive been with woman, there all the same. Just my take, your blog was well written!
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